Photo Courtesy © Fox Searchlight Pictures

The Savages

Written and directed by: Tamara Jenkins

Starring: Laura Linney, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Philip Bosco.

Written and directed by Tamara Jenkins (Slums of Beverly Hills), The Savages shares that love is often just being there. As emotionally-challenged but well-intentioned siblings, Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman are the glue connecting Jenkins’ comedy of manners.

Wendy Savage (Linney) is a fragile brunette, age 39. An aspiring playwright in New York City gaga for Guggenheim recognition, she maintains an active sex life with a married man and nurtures her green ficus plant. Jon Savage (Hoffman) is a disheveled college theatre professor in Buffalo, New York, absorbed in his book research on German playwright Bertolt Brecht while pining for Guggenheim through a string of rejections. Not yet ready for marriage at forty-two, he can’t help but weep when his girlfriend makes him eggs. The bond between the two is tested as they must retrieve their absent father Lenny (theatre legend Philip Bosco) from Arizona and place him under the care of professionals in their home state for his dementia and oncoming physical dependence.

“Maybe dad didn't abandon us. Maybe he just forgot who we were,” Wendy offers as the film’s consistent re-framer. The guttural obligations that take place in order to make this leap happen as smoothly as possible by the two cement the unique beauty in all shades familial: criticism and forgiveness, rewriting and redeeming as long as there is time.

It’s in this gray glow of honesty that the film transmits feelings fluidly—from the pastel hope of Wendy’s thermal pajama tops and the lethargy of Jon’s extra pounds—their lives in progress. The two bring out each other’s secret beauty and their undeniable giftedness as actors create a tender weaved netting like I haven’t quite seen before. You truly believe their ties are forever knotted by parents missing-in-action, tuna melts, dismissal by “the Foundation,” and recreational Percocet popping. Their connection’s human, stripped-down complexity, as intricate as life itself, drives in all moments and geographies: levity, argument, tragedy, and most lovingly, the courage to extract the light and begin healing from the hands they were dealt. As author Tom Robbins’ words grace the end credits, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.”

Jehan@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Photo Courtesy © Paramount Pictures

Cloverfield

Directed by: Matt Reeves

Written by: Drew Goddard

Starring: Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas, T.J. Miller, Michael Stahl-David, Mike Vogel and Odette Yustman.

If you haven’t already seen Cloverfield and are instead swayed by the increasing outpour of negative criticisms (allusions to 9/11 were done in poor taste; The hand-held camera was nausea-inducing, etc.), I’m here to tell you otherwise: Cloverfield is, undoubtedly, the freshest, most well-made horror film of the last few years.

That’s not to say it should be up for awards. It is, again, a horror flick. Its plot is simple enough: a small group of successful, attractive 20-somethings try to rescue another well-to-do, attractive 20-something (one of the leads’ love interest). Meanwhile, a giant thing wreaks havoc on our beloved city, laying to waste with a swoosh of its tail many New York City landmarks and notable buildings. All of this is caught on a hand held camera, which goes back and forth between clips of the present and clips of the lovebirds’ trip to Coney Island a month prior via the little button on the camera that allows you to record on either side of the DV tape. I won’t be ruining much by saying that at the beginning of the film, the mood is adeptly set by a government detailed description of where the tape was found (Cloverfield, formerly known as Central Park). The resulting 80 minutes is Blair Witch-esque footage of the events as they unfold, creating a sub genre of film I refer to as “Reality DV.”

Deciding to have the entire film shot with a handheld results in footage of nothing at times when the camera operator is frantically running, or falling to the ground, or catapulting to the ground from a helicopter under attack. So those with severe epilepsy or an aversion to roller coasters might not find the film as devilishly awesome as I did. But, in keeping with the handheld theme, the director succeeds in adequately creating an apocalyptic sense of dread and fear in the viewer. Other film critics and directors have denounced the film saying that the flick didn’t offer much by way of the human condition. While I agree that focusing on affluent 20-year-olds with nice clothes, nicer cribs and head-scratching jobs (Vice President of a company in Japan? Really? At 25ish?) leaves little room for audience to cast bonding, there are indeed moments in the film where the human reaction to impending doom is nicely displayed. Looting occurs, people get left behind, and an overall sense of confusion and panic set in. For a director to capture that well is no small feat, let alone when it is shown through glimpses, or in the background, of a home video. There’s little lighting, not the best sound and a lot of action. And a lot of skillfully employed scare tactics.

The film also succeeds in tapping into what other critics have deemed the MySpace Generation. In one scene, for instance, a group of onlookers snap pictures of the decapitated Lady Liberty’s head with their cell phones, no doubt in order to send them to their friends and say, “R U OK? CHECK THIS SHIT OUT!”

Cloverfield also pays tribute to the other films that have paved the way in the genre. King Kong is referenced through a poster in one of the looted stores. Unfortunately for the film, its biggest criticism rests in the director’s choice to allude to 9/11. As a building in the distance crumbles and sends dust rushing down an alley, the main characters capture it on video. When the dust settles and they emerge, what they capture on footage so closely resembles the initial shots seen after the first tower came down: Dust caked survivors searching for rescue. While I don’t know if it was meant as a direct allusion or if it was mere coincidence, I can understand why the scene offends naysayers.

But it’s the film’s innovative story telling that ultimately had me singing its praises at the loudest decibel. The switching back and forth between present apocalypse and former Coney Island excursion wasn’t done in vain and, in fact, reveals a significant occurrence at the very last minute of the film that basically explains, without great fanfare, the other side of the DV tape.

So impressive was this J.J. Abrams’-produced horror flick that when I left the movie theatre, Nathan and I ran home to prepare an emergency evacuation plan. Not because I believe we will be attacked by the creature in the film (don’t worry, you’ll get a very good look at it; I just didn’t want to ruin it for anyone), but because of the prevailing mood of disaster and the film’s ability to render, sans a lot of special effects, New York City as a vulnerable, perishable and tiny island. “Reality DV” at its finest, indeed.

Charlie Ortiz – Writer

Photo Courtesy © Sony Pictures Classics

Persepolis

Written and directed by: Vincent Paronnaud and Marjane Satrapi

Featuring the voices of: Chiara Mastroianni, Catherine Deneuve, Danielle Darrieux, Simon Abkarian, Gabrielle Lopes Benites, Gabrielle Lopes, François Jerosme, Arié Elmaleh, Mathias Mlekuz, Jean-François Gallotte, Stéphane Foenkinos and Tilly Mandelbrot.

I first read Marjane Satrapi’s graphic novels Persepolis while visiting my best friend one weekend in D.C. It was one of those standard chilly thus lazy afternoons when rather than go off and explore the world with said friend, I chose to stay in, surrounded by her comforter, and watch TV. But, as usual, there was nothing on. So I ventured into her roommates room and asked if she had anything good to read—she thrust Persepolis: The Story of a Childhood into my hands and, about an hour and a half later, I was borrowing Persepolis 2: The Story of a Return.

Reading them I found myself laughing out loud—something that I did not expect to do with a story about a young girl growing up in Iran during the Islamic Revolution—crying and relating sincerely to Marjane’s dreams, stories and pain. Satrapi’s illustrations leapt off the page and brought to life her words in ways that only a movie can usually do…which explains why turning Persepolis into a film seemed like a no-brainer.

And yet, and yet…I hesitate in writing this because I did actually enjoy the film. I thought that both Vincent Paronnaud, in conjunction with Satrapi, did the seemingly impossibly in capturing the beautiful and unique imagery that made the graphic novels such a wonderful read (I was especially thrilled to see that Marjane’s impromptu dancing was included in the movie). But somehow the emotion, sincerity and sadness that abounded in the novels was, in my view, missing from its big-screen counterpart.

I’ve thought long and hard about why this is and I have to say, I still don’t have an answer. The film is in French, and as we all know, no one does pain as convincingly as the French, and yet, as a viewer, I felt a continuous wall throughout the movie that prevented me from ever truly connecting with Marjane or her family’s complicated story. But maybe I’m suffering from the standard literary-snob’s disease (which also, along with a general disdain for the director at the helm, prevented me from jumping on the Atonement bandwagon) where having connected and loved the book I find the film to be sub par. Either way, one thing is clear—Persepolis, and Satrapi’s story, is worth knowing, watching and reading, regardless of the package that it is wrapped in.

Lily@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Photo Courtesy © National Geographic Entertainment

Directed by: Catherine Owens and Mark Pellington

Starring: Bono, Adam Clayton, The Edge and Larry Mullen, Jr.

As a band, U2 has gotten more collective shit, coupled with semi-equal amounts of praise, over the past few years than any other band currently still releasing albums. Bono alone is on many a “worst douche-bag” list, and yet it is undeniable that no band has taken bigger risks by been at the forefront of new technology before it is cool, hip or approved by the general mass.

In the 80s they made wearing your heart on your sleeve, both politically and spiritually, successful. In the 90s they took rock stadium tours to new heights with their massive stage and light productions, and even bigger remote-controlled satellites and TV screens. In 2004, U2 were the first to collaborate with Apple on their own signature iPod (you could NOT escape their ad campaign if you tried) and now, with their latest venture, U2: 3D, the first live-action movie shot, produced and exhibited solely in digital 3-D, they’re making history once again.

U2: 3D is made up of nine different concerts shot in various parts of South America during their Vertigo tour, where the filmmakers took over 100 hours of footage and dwindled it down to a concert that lasts a little over an hour and a half.  The result is astounding. Remember that first time that you rode the Back to the Future Ride at Universal? Remember how insanely thrilling and surreal it felt? Take that same feeling, multiply it by a million, then throw in the thumping of Adam Clayton’s bass (who, for my money, is the star of the show here), the pounding of Larry Mullen Jr’s drum kit, the electricity of Edge’s guitar and the nothing-short-of-theatrical performance by Bono himself and you will begin to get a general idea of just how fucking incredible U2: 3D really is.

Catherine Owens and Mark Pellington, longtime U2 collaborators, along with the hundred or so cameramen that worked with them in each city, shot scene after scene and song after song in a variety of angles that has never before been seen with 3-D technology. From the very beginning you as a viewer are a part of the crowd at the concert—there is no distinction between the theater that you are sitting in and the stadium that they are standing in—and when Bono stretches out his hand toward his audience, he is reaching out to you as well. At times being that close to Bono and the gang was actually somewhat frightening (something that I never thought I would say), but all of this was masked by what has to be one of the best audio experiences (not being as skilled an audio geek as I’d like this is the best I can do) that I have ever had in a concert film. The music is crisp and clear and sounds so unlike anytime that I’ve ever seen U2 in concert—where mass screaming or massive, blaring speakers tend to often ruin the clarity of the music being played onstage. If you’ve never had the privilege of seeing them in concert (which definitely should be on your list of “Things to Do Before I Die”), U2: 3D is truly the next best thing.

U2: 3D is being distributed by, believe it or not, National Geographic, and although its currently playing in limited release in select cities, it will go wide to an IMAX theater near you February 15^th.

Lily@picturesandframesmagazine.com

DVD'S:

Photo Courtesy © Paramount Pictures

Zodiac: 2-Disc Director's Cut

Damn you, film studios! Damn you for pulling the ol’ double-dip with a movie within a year of its original release on DVD… and damn me for buying it like an idiot as soon as it comes out. I should really know by now that the key to happy-and-successful-DVD-buying is to ignore the movie for a while as eventually the studio will release something even better.

Such is the case with David Fincher’s Zodiac. The movie had a solid place on my top 5 list for 2007 because it is a haunting and hypnotic film. What’s fantastic about this new edition is that the special features are just as compelling as the film itself. Disc one features the director’s cut of the movie (only 5 new minutes of footage are added), supplemented with two commentaries, one by Fincher and a group commentary featuring actors Jake Gyllenhaal and Robert Downey, Jr. and screenwriter James Vanderbilt. (Vanderbilt has been nominated for a WGA award, the lone awards season honor for this highly underrated film. Not bad for the guy who also wrote Darkness Falls.) Also along for the ride is author James Ellroy, who has nothing but acclaim for the movie.

The second disc is split up into two sections: The Film and The Facts. Documentaries on the making of the film are interesting and extensive, but for my money, the featurettes regarding the actual Zodiac case are the disc’s best features. No question, Zodiac is a must-see. If you love the film as much as I do, this is the version to own. Even if you bought it once before. Damn it.

Rick@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Photo Courtesy © ABC Studios

“Lost” (and found)

It’s been more than four years since Oceanic Flight 815 crashed on a deserted island somewhere in the pacific. Of course, it’s really only been a couple of months for the 48 survivors of the accident. But for you and me season number four has just started and it’s promising to be an intense ride full of twists, turns and, plenty of flashbacks.

Now, before you assume that I’m an experienced “Lost-head” I should confess that I’ve only been a fan of the show for about three weeks now. For reasons I can’t quite explain I avoided the show all of this time and focused my TV viewing attention elsewhere. Maybe it was the fact that it was on ABC, or maybe it was because the commercials made the show seem way too confusing to start watching without seeing it from the beginning. Regardless of my reasons not to see the show it was thanks to the persuasion and persistence of P&F’s own Brooklyn Gang that I finally decided to give the show a try. A week later my wife and I completed all three seasons in a “Lost” marathon that left us exhausted, sleep deprived and wanting more. Just like drug attics going clean the withdrawal hit us hard, but there was some comfort in the knowledge that there would be three more seasons with sixteen episodes each. That is if the writer’s strike ever ends.

So why should you watch “Lost”? The simple, short answer would be, “Because it’s fucking awesome!!!” But if you need a better reason than that then here it is: 48 survivors of a deadly plane crash are faced with the reality that they just crashed on a deserted island, and that rescue is not coming any time soon. To make matters worse, there is something in the jungle that is killing them off one by one. Together they must use what they can salvage from the plane as well as the skills they each possess to keep them alive long enough to be rescued. But as the days go by, the island’s mysteries are slowly revealed, giving us a glimpse into a failed scientific colony and an ancient race of inhabitants, whose descendants called “The Others,” are terrorizing the survivors. Will they be rescued or will they die waiting? Only the island knows, after all it was the island that brought them there. Now if that doesn’t motivate you to give the show a try then I guess nothing will.

The cast on “Lost” is also another reason to watch, pay attention and enjoy. Featuring both unknown and veteran actors, “Lost” uses flashbacks to reveal each character’s past along with their possible connections to the island and each other. Combined with a great script and some powerful acting the cast brings both diversity and complexity to each performance. The significance of time is very important in the show since the creators use it to their advantage—and as a reference point for the flashbacks, flash forwards and present day.

The events in every episode take place during 48 hours of elapsed time on the island. The pilot for the show first aired on ABC on September 22, 2004. In the show this is the same date the plane crashes on the island. Season 3 ends with a flash-forward to 2006 that makes the cliffhanger of their ultimate rescue pale in comparison. Numbers also play a significant role in the show so keep a look out for 48, 108, 42 and the unlucky combination of 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42. Here’s my advice for those people that have not seen the show yet—take advantage that season’s 1,2 and 3 are available on DVD. There is no better way to see “Lost” than back-to-back. As my wife and I discovered a few weeks ago, once you are “Lost,” you won’t want to come back.

Juanmarcos@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Photo Courtesy © Warner Bros. Pictures

The Invasion

Thank God for Netflix. I have this tendency to fall in love with an actor and then feel compelled to see everything they act in. Especially when it comes to actors who are so good that you believe they can elevate any project they're involved with. Sadly, the fact is that no one can have a completely spotless career. In the past this has led to some DVD buying misfires. (For example, Gwyneth Paltrow owes me about 30 bucks for Shallow Hal and—dear God—View From The Top.) Netflix saves the day again, allowing me to fight the overwhelming urge to buy anything starring Nicole Kidman. As seen in my recentspotlight of Kidman (Dec 07), even if she's in something bad, I can find something nice to say about her work in it. (Except for Bewitched. Nothing nice can ever be said on that count.)

Such is the case with The Invasion. I know that it's a remake and that to say "I've seen it all before" would be a blunder, but it's such a run of the mill, been-there done-that bore (*coff* Spielberg's War of the Worlds *coff!*) that I can't believe it was made by the same director who made the authentically unsettling German thriller Das Experiment. Visually, it's cool. Kidman and Daniel Craig are always great to watch, but between this and The Golden Compass, I'm going to call it: They should not appear together again. It just isn't happening. Also, how many times can Veronica Cartwright play the person who knows that something is wrong, who everyone else just thinks is a crazy mess? Because she's essentially playing her character from The Witches of Eastwick again, sans the whole hurling-cherry-pits thing. Avoid The Invasion, is what I say. And now I will wait for Netflix to prove to me that Jodie Foster has made a better choice with The Brave One. *gulp*

Rick@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Photo Courtesy © Monkey and friends of monkey

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Richard: We should say what we’re watching.

Jeanne: Yeah, Pirates of the Caribbean, like, seven or something.

Richard: We saw Pirates II in the theater and I hated it despite the fact that I loved the first Pirates movie.

Jeanne: I think Richard fell asleep during it in the theater.

Richard: I skipped work to see it.

Jeanne: Don’t say that.

Chris: One of your many, many, many, many days of skipping work.

Richard: It’s funny ‘cause last week when I skipped work to “wait for my phone” we saw a Johnny Depp movie.

Jeanne: I hope your manager doesn’t read this…wait! Nobody reads this. You’ll be fine.

The movie begins with lines and lines of pirates being brought to the gallows for hanging. As a young boy is brought up to the gallows he begins to sing a pirate song. It’s not like that pirate song during the Trinidad part of the Disney ride that’s all drunkards and whores…it’s a big downer. Even more of a downer, they totally still hang the little kid. Damn Brits.

Richard: This is a lot of hanging and dead people for a Disney movie, dude.

Chris: But not nearly enough for a Bruckheimer film.

Richard: (when all the pirates join in to sing the pirate song together) Oh my god, this is like Les Mis or Dancer in the Dark.

Although we totally didn’t understand this from the film (there’s a lot that we didn’t get in the film) Wikipedia tells me that when all of the pirates waiting for the gallows sang the pirate song together it was to summon all of the nine pirate lords together, I guess in the hopes that they’d do something about the whole the-British-are-killing-all-of-the-pirates thing.

Richard: That opening scene was really intriguing, wasn’t it?

Jeanne: That was kind of cool though ‘cause you were like, “Why did he want them to sing? Why? Why?”

Chris: What are you talking about? This movie’s too deep to talk over. I don’t know what’s going on!

Jeanne: I think we might have to stop recording.

Richard: It’s like The Scar.

Chris: You didn’t even read The Scar.

Richard: I read enough.

Chris: You read the first chapter!

Jeanne: Actually, I think it was just the intro.

Richard: Dude, I read more than that.

Chris: Is that Keira Knightly?

Jeanne: I think it is. She’s got the weird face.

Chris: I think she’s pretty.

Jeanne: She’s got a weird face. I’m not saying it’s bad entirely.

Chris: She’s got a weird face when they make her up like a drag queen like on that cover of Interview.

Richard: I think that cover was really just mocking her. It’s like, “We’ll make her pose without a shirt on so that the whole world can see that she has no breasts.” I have bigger boobs than she does.

Keira Knightly and Geoffrey Rush are approaching a pirate lord of Singapore. At the same time we see that their crew are all invading the pirate lord’s lair from another way just in case backup is needed.

Chris: (about Geoffrey Rush) So he was the guy in the first movie who was like a skeleton…

Jeanne: Okay, I’m gonna turn off the recorder. I have a feeling this isn’t gonna be the movie for this ‘cause no one’s going to have any idea what’s going on.

As Keira Knightly and Geoffrey Rush enter the gates of the pirate lord’s house they’re sort of searched.

Richard: Oh my god! They’re gonna have her take off her clothes.

Jeanne: And they’re gonna go, “Oh wait, you are a boy.”

Chris: See this is funny.

Jeanne: Okay, I’ll leave this on.

Keira Knightly starts surrendering the shocking number of weapons that she has hidden on her.

Richard: She is, like, loaded with the artillery. “Wait, there’s just his one last weapon that I have up my ass.”

Jeanne: Basically.

Jeanne and Richard: Whoa!

Jeanne: For a little person she can fit a lot up there.

Geoffrey Rush and Keira Knightly finally get face to face with the pirate lord and tell him that they need a ship and a crew.

Richard: (Referring to the pirate lord) He’s got coke nail. Do you know what coke nail is, Jeanne?

Jeanne: Uh-huh.

Chris: Except that they’re all like coke nails.

Jeanne: Maybe he does a lot of coke.

Richard: Or maybe he’s like Howard Hughes.

Jeanne: Did Howard Hughes never cut his nails?

Richard: And he also collected his pee in cups.

Jeanne: That’s pretty gross, too.

The pirate lord tells Geoffrey and Keira that someone broke in last night and tried to steal a map (that leads the way to Davy Jones Locker )and a ship from him. He turns and reveals that it was Orland Bloom! He caught him and tied him up. Keira gasps and Chris chides her for her crappy poker face.

The pirate lord is crazy angry. Keira tries to give him a stern, Oscar-worthy talking to but it doesn’t quite go her way. The pirate lord yells about how he would only bring Jack Sparrow back from the dead so that he could kill him himself. Geoffrey Rush explains that Jack has one of the nine pieces of eight (I know, it’s stupid) and he is one of the pirate lord’s so they must bring him back so that he can be at that whole pirate-lord-meetup-thing.

The Singapore pirate lord is still unconvinced and seems to be readying to attack. Geoffrey Rush tells him that their intentions are honorable but then their crew is actually in a room directly underneath them and they throw swords up through the wood boards beneath Geoffrey and Keira, which they catch and start raising hell with.

Richard: That seems pretty unlikely.

Jeanne: That seems pretty badass.

As Keira, Orlando, Geoffrey and their crew are attacking the Singapore crew a third party steals all the glory. The British show up and just start bombing the fuck out of everything. Everything is crazy violent.

Richard: I wonder if they’re updating the ride at Disneyworld to now have Singapore.

Jeanne: I hope not.

Richard: Wow, this is really bloody and violent for a Disney film.

Jeanne: I mean the ride was pretty disturbing—like when you go through Trinidad or wherever it was and it’s full of like drunk men and slutty women…?

Chris: They took that out.

Jeanne: They took that out?

Chris: Yeah.

Jeanne: Disney sucks!

Orlando Bloom makes a deal with the pirate lord in the midst of the chaos and they leave with the black pearl, the map and a crew.

Now at sea, they travel through frozen seas where even the monkey sits and shivers. They have that crazy psychic lady with them still and she makes ominous cryptic comments occasionally. They talk about a mythical “flash of green” that gets seen in the sky during sunset on rare occasions and is supposed to be a sign that someone has returned to the world from the land of the dead.

Richard: Geoffrey Rush must have gotten paid a lot of money for this. It’s like Helen Mirren in National Treasure 2. (Don’t fret, folks, we haven’t actually seen it yet. We’re saving that for a very special Brooklyn Gang Review when it hits DVD.)

Jeanne: Or Dame Judi Dench in Chronicles of Riddick.

Richard: Actors are whores.

Jeanne: I blame Cuba Gooding, Jr. I think he’s the one who fucked it all up.

Chris: He was never very good in the first place.

Jeanne: But he made Oscar winners lose credibility. They’re not worth as much now.

We see Davy Jones sitting at his piano playing a sad melody with an antique heart locket in front of him.

Richard: Look there’s Bill Nighy.

Jeanne: Still want to make out with him?

Richard: Um…no. Don’t be sad Bill Nighy-squidface.

Bill Nighy then turns toward the camera and a tear runs down his gross slimy face.

Jeanne and Richard: Aww…

They’re saps.

Richard: He’s such a powerful actor, Chris, that even when he’s a squid, when he’s crying he moves me.

In the next scene we see that Bill Nighy as Davy Jones is no longer in control of his heart. It’s been taken by the British and he’s now being forced to attack all the pirates at their command.

Richard: They’re like sharks and squid people. They can’t just bend over and get fucked by the British!

Jeanne: I think the British can fuck everybody.

Chris: Dude, I don’t remember the first two movies at all.

Jeanne: I remember there was something about ‘if you get his heart you can control him’ ‘cause isn’t that what Jack Sparrow wanted to do? They were trying to get his heart. But I guess the British got his heart? I’m confused, too. Anybody want to Wikipedia one and two?

Richard: It looks cool though.

Chris: I remember Jack Sparrow got captured by cannibals. And he had eyes on his eyes so when he closed his eyes it looked like his eyes were still open!

Back to Keira and the crew. Tia Dalma, the crazy psychic chick, is seen holding the same heart locket that Davy Jones had. The psychic and the squid. Sounds like a good love story to me. The captain tells them that he’s intentionally getting them lost because the only way to find the land of the dead is to be lost. Richard likens the whole scene to the boat ride in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. They end up getting lost right into a waterfall and going over but when they emerge they’re in Davy Jones’ Locker.

Jeanne: (As the monkey nearly falls out of the boat heading over the waterfall) The monkey was evil for the first two movies. Why do we care about the monkey?

Chris: I don’t remember the first two movies. I’m just thinking, “Aww, cute monkey.”

Richard: Are you confusing him maybe with that Nazi monkey from Raider’s of the Lost Arc?

Jeanne: Well, you do like Nazi’s.

Richard: I don’t. Clarify that.

Jeanne: I meant Chris. Chris likes Nazi’s.

Chris: It wasn’t a Nazi monkey. Remember it came in and it ate the poisoned food.

The next scene is super weird. It opens on a VERY tight shot of Johnny Depp’s nose sniffing. He’s aboard the Black Pearl but his entire crew is made up of different facets of his personality. Some of them make chicken sounds. Some are even gayer. One hits on a goat. It’s totally bizarre. The alter egos suddenly vanish and Depp gets off of the boat and starts walking away from it. The ship is stranded in sand but out of nowhere thousands of white crabs show up and start carrying the ship away. Depp follows them and ends up on a beach. This scene is VERY long.

Richard: I already see where this movie could have been a lot shorter than two hours and forty nine minutes. Editing, Gore Verbinski; try it. Is that the crab from Simply Irresistible?

Jeanne: Oh, I hope none of our zero readers gets that reference. That was a terrible, terrible movie.

Richard: Hello zero readers!

Johnny Depp reunites with Keira and the gang on the beach but is way reluctant to join up with them since like half of them have tried or actually succeeded in killing him.

Jeanne: I really liked the first movie. I feel like they’ve gone downhill.

Chris: Is that why I feel like I want to shoot myself?

Jeanne: Well, honey, we’ve only got two more hours to go.

Johnny Depp finally agrees to go with everybody. As they sail away from Davy Jones’ locker they see weird white shapes like people beneath the water.

Richard: Mermaids!

Chris: I think those are ghosts.

Tia Dalma begins to explain the story of Davy Jones. He was given the duty of ferrying the dead to the next world by the goddess Calypso, his lover. He was given in return one day every ten years when he could come onto land and be with her but when she wasn’t there one day he abandoned his duty and became a heartbroken monster.

As the ship is sailing they go through an area filled with small boats, each with a single passenger. These are also dead people on their journey to the afterlife. Keira sees in one of the boats her father and freaks the fuck out. She tries to throw him a line or to get off the boat to help him but she’s restrained. She finally understands that he’s dead but she swears to avenge him.

The ship has wandered for days and the crew is running out of water. Johnny Depp struggles to decipher the cryptic map and figure out the way back to the regular world. He realizes that the way to get there is by flipping the boat upside down so that sunset looks like sunrise and once the sun sets they will emerge into the real world. So there’s lots of running back and forth across the ship until it finally turns over. I have doubts about whether this is possible. I’m thinking about writing “Mythbusters” about it.

Richard: Do you think that they’ll all survive, Chris?

Chris: I don’t rightly care.

Chris’ opinion about sums up how we all feel at this point in the film. Once the boat flips there’s about a minute where nothing happens and everyone’s looking around like, “Fuck me.” But, of course, it totally works and the water rushes past them and it’s all good.

Richard: I kind of hate you for making me watch these movies, Johnny Depp. I kind of want to punch you in the balls and be like, ‘That’s for the second Pirates and, bam, that’s for the third.’

Now that the ship is in the real world we find out that everyone has double-crossed each other. Orlando Bloom made a deal with the pirate lord of Singapore to hijack the Black Pearl and use it to find and rescue his father. But the pirate lord betrays Orlando Bloom by selling them all out to the British in exchange for the Black Pearl. But the British, being bastards, renege on the deal and keep the ship so the pirate lord gives the ship to Orlando Bloom but keeps Keira because he thinks that she is the goddess Calypso. (Calypso was bound in human form during the first pirate lord gathering of the Brethren Court.)

During this time Johnny Depp is being held by the British who want him to tell them where the brethren court meets so they can go there and kill the pirate lords. Depp tells them that the brethren court meets at a place that’s heavily defended and well stocked and can withstand a barrage for years. He makes a deal with the British to lead the pirate lords out of the court where they will be easier to take down. In exchange he wants to be the new captain of The Flying Dutchman so he’ll live forever.

The Singapore pirate lord tells Keira that he believes she’s Calypso. During their conversation the British attack and he is mortally wounded. Before he dies he gives Keira his piece of nine and tells her that she’s now the pirate lord of Singapore. She and her crew are imprisoned in the Flying Dutchman’s brig. There she meets Bootstrap Turner, Blooms dad, and he tells her that the Dutchman must always have a captain so if anyone every kills Davy Jones they will become the new captain and have to forever sail the Dutchman. He also says that she should tell Bloom not to come rescue him because he doesn’t want him to throw away his chance at a life. 

Richard: This movie makes me want to kill all of my unborn children so that they won’t have to grow up and see it.

Jeanne: I’m with you. It’s pretty bad. It makes me ashamed ‘cause this is my absolute favorite Disney ride.

Richard: I wonder if you ride it now if there’s like an animatronic Keira Knightly.

Jeanne: I hope they don’t do that but they probably will. They’ll probably make it to match the movie and that’s ridiculous.

Chris: There’s an animatronic Jack Sparrow.

Jeanne: In the ride? Really? I can never go to Disneyworld again!

Richard: Don’t worry. You can never afford to go to Disneyworld again.

Jeanne: Good point. Is there an animatronic Eddie Murphy in the haunted house now?

Richard: (Laughs but then realizes it might be true) Oh, Jesus,

Jeanne: It would make it even scarier.

Admiral Norrington, played by Jack Davenport of “Coupling,” frees Keira and her crew from the brig of the Dutchman but he’s murdered by Bootstrap Bill before he can escape as well.

The Flying Dutchman and the British catch up to Orlando Bloom and he finds out from Davy Jones that it was Davy Jones himself who convinced the pirate lords to trap Calypso into a human form because of how bitter he was about being stood up on his one day in ten years on land.

So now Johnny Depp, with Tia Dalma, the real Calypso, reaches Shipwreck Cove where the pirates are meeting. All of the pirate lords turn over the nine pieces of eight. It turns out to just be a bunch of junk like buttons and keys and that guy’s wooden eyeball. Keira tries to convince the other pirate lords that they should fight but the others want to stay inside the security of their fortress and wait it out. Someone mentions freeing Calypso and the pirate lords all start to fight and bicker among themselves. Keira: “This is madness.” Depp: “This is politics.”

Chris: This is Sparta!

Richard: Is this better or worse than 300?

Jeanne: Worse.

Richard: Really?

Chris: So much worse. 300 wasn’t that bad.

Jeanne: It had some cheesy lines but it was awesome looking. It was pretty good. This is long and boring. At least that one was never boring ‘cause there were always naked men and fighting.

Davy Jones goes to see Calypso in her prison cell. They talk about love and calamari or something. Richard is sort of worried that they’ll make out. They sort of make up. Davy Jones says he’ll always love her but Calypso says he no longer has a heart to give and he’s corrupted himself. She vows to destroy the members of the pirate brethren who imprisoned her in human form.

Richard: Is it kind of fucked up that I was hoping there’d be a sex scene ‘cause that would be insane?

Jeanne: Between a chick with black teeth and a guy with a squid face…

Richard: …and a crab arm. Imagine what his penis looks like!

Jeanne: A bunch of tentacles.

Richard: It probably has barnacles on it…and real crabs.

Jeanne: I’m sure that there’s like Youtube videos devoted to that sort of thing.

Richard: And when he comes he makes sounds like a dolphin. (Richard starts making weird dolphin squeaks.)

Jeanne: Make it stop.

Everyone laughs.

Jeanne: Hey, there’s only an hour and five minutes left!

Johnny Depp is trying to convince everyone to go out and fight but Barbossa claims that war can only be declared by the pirate king and since there isn’t one they can’t be made to fight. He calls on the keeper of the code to prove him right.

Richard: Oh my god, it’s gonna be Keith Richards.

Jeanne: It is. It’s gonna be funny ‘cause he’s like unintelligible.

Richard: (singing) Brown sugar! Oh, he’s not attractive.

Jeanne: Did they make him worse for this?

Richard: I think all they did was slap on a pirate hat.

Keith Richards comes back saying that Barbossa is right and that only the king can declare war. Barbossa explains that there’s never a pirate king because all of the pirate lords always vote for themselves so there’s never a majority. Johnny Depp calls for a vote but he votes for Keira so she wins because she also voted for herself. She declares war.

Richard: I think I like Keira Knightly again. She’s not a good actress but I feel like she’d hang out and play video games with us and we could feed her pizza.

Jeanne: And she’d eat it and keep saying, “I don’t gain any weight. I’m so skinny. I wish I could be fat like Beth Ditto.”

Richard: And then we’d all hate her again.

Keira, Barbossa and Johnny Depp go out to parlay with the British. Keira exchanges Depp for Bloom. We’re all super confused about what’s going on. There’ve been too many ulterior motives and double crosses and double double crosses.

Jeanne: I hope this is like most American movies where in that last ten minutes they just summarize everything for you because they figured you were too dumb to follow it.

Richard: Maybe you can explain it all to us when you transcribe it.

Jeanne: I don’t think I can. I think the review’s just gonna go, “There were fishy people. The end.” (Trust me, I seriously considered this.)

Barbossa grabs all of the pieces of eight and decides that, against everyone’s wishes, he’s going to free Calypso. When he does he asks that she do him one favor and unleash her fury against the British. She causes a huge tempest as the British Navy appears on the horizon. Keira makes her Braveheart speech but it’s pretty weak. Her crew seems into it though and everyone gears up and heads toward the Brits. A giant whirpool starts to form in the middle of the battle. While the battle rages, Depp sneaks out of the brig on the Butchman and manages to steal Davy Jones’ dead man’s chest with his heart in it. It’s all very exciting. During the fighting Orlando Bloom proposes to Keira. How romantic. They have Captain Barbossa officiate in the midst of sword fighting and canon fire. They continue fighting as they exchange vows and finally kiss to seal the deal. I guess that’s a good way to get married on the cheap.

Richard: This is what you guys should do for your wedding.

Chris: Is it really that pressing?

Jeanne: Well, I guess they’re all about to die.

Richard: This is what you should do for your wedding.

Jeanne: Be about to die on a pirate ship while fighting fish people?

After the marriage, Orlando Bloom boards the Flying Dutchman, still set on trying to free his father.

Jeanne: I really don’t like Orlando Bloom. I’m trying to think of anything I’ve seen him in that I’ve liked.

Chris: Lord of the Rings.

Jeanne: He was alright but he wasn’t like the stand out character. And he was wicked gay.

Davy Jones corners Orlando Bloom after a long fight and he stabs him in the chest.

Richard: Yay!

Jeanne: It’s like your dreams have come true.

Richard: It’s not just that they stabbed Orlando Bloom but that Bill Nighy, an actor, stabbed Orlando Bloom, a non-actor.

Johnny Depp, in a shockingly selfless act, puts his broken sword into Orlando Bloom’s hands and uses it to stab Davy Jones’ heart making Orlando Bloom the new captain of the Flying Dutchman. Johnny Depp and Keira Knightly escape off the Dutchman as it disappears into the sea.

With Bloom as the new captain of the Dutchman the crew stop being monsters and go back to being men although they are all still trapped on that fucking ship so I can’t imagine looking hotter is much of a relief.

The Flying Dutchman (captained by Bloom) and The Black Pearl (captained by Depp) fight together against the British and defeat them.

Orlando Bloom and Keira get one day to consummate their marriage before he has to go back to the Dutchman for the next ten years. They have some rocking island sex and she vows to be waiting for him when he returns. In the meantime, Johnny Depp gets drunk and passes out giving Barbossa the opportunity to ditch him at a dock and steal the Black Pearl. As Barbossa sails away we see him unfurl the map that they used to get to the land of the dead but there’s a big hole cut out of it. Depp anticipated the back-stabbing and had cut out the crucial piece of the map to keep Barbossa from sailing to the fountain of youth. Way to leave an opening for Pirates 4. That’s gonna suck. I wonder if it’s going to be four hours long to top this one. Maybe it’ll be like Apocalypse Now , like a 48 hour epic. And, finally, after days and days of watching this, the movie ends. Thank fucking god.

But of course, that’s never good enough and there’s even more movie after the credits. There’s a scene showing Keira and a young son waiting on a cliff at sunset. There’s a green flash in the sky and Orlando Bloom comes sailing in on the Dutchman for his one day of not being forced to have sex with ugly male pirates.

The End.

The Saturday Night Itinerant Brooklyn Gang is:

Jeanne Lopez, Cookie Monster

Rick Sayre, Pop-Culture Critic

Christopher Wilson, Vampire Hunter

BrooklynGang@picturesandframesmagazine.com

MUSIC:

2007 was actually a great year for music. There were several noteworthy releases, although it didn’t help that so many heavyweights released albums all on the same day (which was a frequent occurrence during the last four months of 2007). You could easily go for broke on iTunes or in any other music retailer. There were so many great releases that it was quite difficult trying to narrow down my ultimate list(s). Looking at my lists in hindsight, I forgot to include a few. (Mark Ronson’s Version, Angie Stone’s The Art of Love & War, Alicia Keys’ As I Am, Joss Stone’s Introducing… Joss Stone, Ari Gold’s Transport Systems, and Joni Mitchell’s Shine to name few.) 2008 is gearing up to be another banner year—chock full of highly anticipated releases, many by some of today’s beloved artists.

Well, I have to credit Mary J. Blige with starting this year off quite nicely with the release of Growing Pains. Though released at the end of December 2007, if the success of The Breakthrough was any indication, 2008 will be yet another successful year for Mary J. Blige. It seems like 2008 is the year that some of the most influential divas are returning to the music scene: Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, Madonna, and possibly Whitney Houston will all be releasing new albums this year. Other releases to watch out for include albums by R&B/Soul favorites Erykah Badu, Maxwell, and Teedra Moses as well as rock luminaries Sheryl Crow and Lenny Kravitz.

Janet Jackson – Discipline

Janet Jackson will be releasing her tenth studio album entitled Discipline on February 26^th. Judging from the sounds of the Rodney Jerkins-produced first single “Feedback,” this is Jackson like you’ve never heard her before. Aside from Rodney Jerkins, this upbeat, dance heavy album features the production of Ne-Yo, Stargate, The Dream, Tricky Stewart, and Jermaine Dupri. Surprisingly, this will be the first album in quite some time that will not feature production by long-time Jackson collaborators Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. With exposure, demand, and the success of “Feedback” building each week, Discipline is destined to put Jackson back on the top of the charts.

Mariah Carey – That Chick

Mariah Carey will be returning on April 1^st with That Chick, the follow-up to 2005’s best-selling album The Emancipation of Mimi. Industry insiders are already singing praises for That Chick, one of this year’s most-anticipated releases. In fact, some have gone as far to say that Carey easily tops herself with That Chick. The first single “Touch My Body,” written and produced by The Dream and Jermaine Dupri, hits the radio on February 11^th. Aside from Jermaine Dupri and The Dream, producers include Polow Da Don, will.i.am, Brian Michael-Cox, Rodney Jerkins, Stargate, and Tricky Stewart to name a few.

Madonna – Give It To Me

Madonna will also be returning in April with the follow-up to 2005’s Confessions on the Dancefloor. The new album, tentatively titled Give It To Me, is rumored to feature production work by Timbaland, Pharrell, Justin Timberlake, and a possible collaboration with Kanye West. The first single is soon to be announced. Give It To Me will also be her last recording for Warner Bros. Records. Madonna recently signed a $120 million, 10-year deal contract with concert promoter giant Live Nation. This next phase of her career should be quite interesting.

Whitney Houston - TBA

And rumor has it Whitney Houston may be releasing an album this year as well. It’s been a little over 5 years since the release of Houston’s last studio album, 2002’s Just Whitney. Producers rumored to be working on Houston’s new album include Ne-Yo, will.i.am, John Legend, Akon, and R.Kelly. Houston’s presence in the music industry is greatly missed. If she’s in good voice and is given great material, I’m sure it will put her back on the map.

Erykah Badu – New Amerykah

Soul-siren Erykah Badu will be releasing New Amerykah, the long-awaited follow-up to her 2002 EP Worldwide Underground. The new album will feature 18 songs on two separately sold discs. The bumpin’ first single “Honey” was produced by 9^th Wonder. Aside from 9^th Wonder, other producers include Madlib and Mike “Chav” Chavarria. New Amerykah will be released February 26^th.

Maxwell – Black Summer’s Night

Maxwell, like Anita Baker and Sade, makes soulful music that is passionate, beautiful and timeless. As fans know, Maxwell, also like Anita Baker and Sade, takes several years to release new music. So it was a welcomed surprise when fans were treated to a snippet of the new song “Pretty Wings” on his MySpace page. It’s classic Maxwell. Smooth, melodic, and sensual. His next release, entitled Black Summer’s Night, will reportedly be one of three albums released over the next few years. His last album, Now, was released in 2001. Black Summer’s Night is expected to be released this summer.

Teedra Moses – The Young Lioness

Teedra Moses, like singer/songwriter Eric Roberson (Jill Scott, Musiq Soulchild, Dwele, Vivian Green), is one of R&B/Soul music’s best-kept secrets. She may not ring a bell immediately but you’ve heard her music before. She’s written songs for Christina Milian (“Dip It Low”), Mary J. Blige (“So Lady”), Trina featuring Kelly Rowland (“Here We Go”), and others like Macy Gray, Nivea. Her critically acclaimed first album, Complex Simplicity was released in 2004. Though it didn’t garner the best sales, word-of-mouth, club tours and mixtapes have helped to steadily build her fan base. Her sophomore release, The Young Lioness, will finally see the light of day later this year.

Sheryl Crow - Detours

On February 5^th, Sheryl Crow returns with Detours, the follow-up to 2005’s somewhat underwhelming Wildflower. If the environmentally conscious first single “Shine Over Babylon” is any indication, fans can expect a sound that is reminiscent of Crow’s Tuesday Night Music Club. This can be credited to her re-teaming with Tuesday Night Music Club producer Bill Bottrell. Songs on Detours will not only highlight what she’s experienced over the course of the last three years but will have a more socially conscious leaning.

Lenny Kravitz – It Is Time For A Love Revolution

Also on February 5^th, Lenny Kravitz returns with his eighth studio album, It Is Time For a Love Revolution. The 14-track set will contain songs written, produced, arranged and played by Kravitz. This will be his first release in nearly 4 years. The new album features the tender, slow rocking “I’ll Be Waiting” and the retro, Zeppelin-esque “Bring It On.” If these singles are any indication, Love Revolution will showcase Kravitz at his best. Let’s hope his label, Virgin Records, gives his new project the promotion and support it deserves.

And this is only the beginning! Stay tuned next month for Part II of the 2008’s new music preview.

Markell@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Judy Garland/Rufus Wainwright: Judy at Carnegie Hall/Rufus Does Judy at Carnegie Hall

I tend to avoid giving in to stereotypes as much as I can. I’ve never really been the kind of Gay who frequents bars or gyms. I believe in comfort before style and don’t wear tight fitting clothes. I have never worn my hair in a “fauxhawk,” nor in fact do I use any sort of “product” at all. I’m not particularly fond of the word “Fabulous.” I like some of Madonna’s music (ok, I own every album), but I’d never go see her live. (Especially not for a hundred bucks or whatever she’s charging nowadays.)  Then there are those stereotypes that I fit to a tee. I love musical theatre. I enjoy watching old movies with actresses like Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. (I adore Norma Shearer in particular, which is Super-Gay!) I think Jake Gyllenhaal is the hottest guy alive. I even listen to Barbra Streisand. (Although nothing post-Back to Broadway, because too-serious Barbra bores me.)

Also, as a child, one of my favorite movies was The Wizard of Oz. I loved it. I loved Dorothy. I loved “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” As I grew up, my love for the movie never waned. I also developed a great love for music, and eventually (thanks to Ella Fitzgerald), a love for the great standards and those who sang them. However, I avoided Judy Garland. I thought that would be a little too gay. I know it didn’t mean that I’d hit “play” and suddenly want to don a wig and lip sync to “The Man That Got Away” at the local drag club; I just didn’t want to take the whole gay thing that far. The more and more that I fell for music though, the more I began to suspect that Garland was much more than a gay icon. 

I can’t believe how stupid I was. (Am!) In a moment of gift-card inspired glee, I decided to buy the bonafide classic album, Judy at Carnegie Hall along with the newly released disc of Rufus Wainwright’s 2006 concert tribute. I decided to listen to Garland first and see what all of the buzz was about. I was amazed. Not only because Judy Garland actually is the great entertainer she’s been made out to be, but also because I’ve never heard anyone so ebullient in concert before. It’s hard to describe how electrifying and mesmerizing this recording is, and pretty incredible considering that it’s 47 years later. As I listened, I thought, “How can Rufus possibly measure up to this?” I was prepared for it to be a silly and pointless cover of something truly incredible. Lightning in a bottle can’t be captured twice, can it?  I think that I was particularly wary because the brief sample I had heard of Wainwright singing Garland happened to be during “You Go To My Head”- at which point he mimics Garland’s off the cuff “and I forgot the god-darn words.” Convinced that I was in for something disappointing, I played Rufus Does Judy at Carnegie Hall.

Lo and Behold, I was wrong again. This is no surprise. It’s clear that Wainwright is paying tribute to someone he adores, and an album that he loves. While his performance could never match the exuberance of Garland’s, it is nevertheless worthy of praise. It’s a ballsy thing to remake a classic song, much less a classic album, but Wainwright manages to do a marvelous job. I for one am happy to have both of these recordings in my collection, but if I had to keep just one, I’d stick to the Judy. It’s…. fabulous.

Rick@picturesandframesmagazine.com

The Lisps – Country Doctor Museum

Dear The Lisps,

I spent the day listening to your new album, Country Doctor Museum. I had been charmed by your debut EP, The Vain, The Modest & The Dead, and was looking forward to a full-length album of Lisps-ness. I am not disappointed. The word “jaunty” simply must be used. Another great adjective would be “gleeful” because so much about your music makes me smile. Particularly the horns on the new version of “Chaos” right? Not to mention “Anne Marie,” a song that I simply cannot stop playing over and over again.

The vocal combination of Sammy Tunis and César Alvarez (especially on the playful “Destiny”) inspires me to use the phrase “a joyful noise.” So does the carnival-like tune, “The Familiar Drunk.” I adore the bittersweet finale, “Red Balloon.” “Experimental!” That’s another good word, although sometimes when it comes to music (especially indie bands from Brooklyn) it can be sort of dubious. However, all of the completely unexpected moments are what surprise me, and keep me listening.

Yours truly,

Rick Sayre – Pop-Culture Junkie

The Lisps Country Doctor Museum is available online through http://www.cdbaby.com as well through their Website at http://www.thelisps.com

Rick@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Eels – Meet the eels/Useless trinkets

“Life is funny, but not ha-ha funny.” –“3 Speed” by The Eels

Once upon a time, I went to see Tori Amos in concert. She was playing in West Palm Beach, a couple of hours from where I lived in Miami. She had just released her album Little Earthquakes and had quickly become an artist I loved and admired. Her opening act that night was a man called “E” who was standing in a corner of the venue handing out free sampler cassettes. He played a keyboard and sang funny/sad pop tunes.

Before I even left West Palm Beach, I stopped at Peaches and bought his album, A Man Called E. It became a favorite of mine. His second album, Broken Toy Shop, was pretty good as well. Then E disappeared for a bit. Until I saw a video for a song called “Novocaine for the Soul” by a band called The Eels. The song was the first single from their debut album, Beautiful Freak. Darker and edgier than his solo albums but still pretty much 100% an E production, Beautiful Freak didn’t quite grab me as much as the old E.

A few years later, Electro-Shock Blues came out. The story of the album is one that’s been told a lot, but to sum things up, several deaths in his family left E alone and Electro-Shock Blues was his response. It’s a brilliant album, but clearly not something a lot of the record-buying public seemed drawn to. Those that were have been lucky enough to experience some fantastic music, a lot of which is collected in two new CDs released in January: Meet the Eels collects the best songs and singles of The Eels first decade, including “Novocaine," “My Beloved Monster” (familiar to fans of the Shrek movies) and my absolute favorite Eels song “Last Stop: This Town.” Also included is a DVD collecting 11 music videos and a live performance of “Dirty Girl” from “The Eels With Strings Live at Town Hall.”

Useless Trinkets is an immense 2-disc, 50 song collection of b-sides, remixes and other songs that may be more for hardcore Eels fans than casual listeners. I love the remixes. I love the song “Fucker” because I’m basically still 12-years-old and love anything that uses the F-word. I fucking love the sped-up live version of “I like birds!” Plus, you can’t go wrong with E’s cover of “Can’t Help Falling in Love.” But wait, there’s more! Useless Trinkets also includes a DVD! This one features a live performance by the band from Lollapalooza 2006. Both albums have liner notes by E himself, commenting on each song in the collection.

Despite all of the critical praise, The Eels remain more popular abroad than in the U.S. Not a surprise, really. A band who sings songs about how fucked up and sad life can be… but in a funny way? No thanks. Of course, that is exactly why I love The Eels.

Rick@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Nada Surf – Lucky

Understated musician-philosopher Matthew Caws has confessed he’s lived the past ten years in despair and self-doubt. On Lucky, the Nada Surf front man realizes through greater personal strength, undeniable gratitude is the key to enjoying this life and its magic. I’m just as happy for him as I am for listeners and Nada Surf fans everywhere!

As the third major release by the Brooklyn-based trio, Nada Surf is back and expansive on their signature gifts of joyfully jangly, imperfectly-perfect, dreamily longing feel-good indie pop masterpieces with poems straight from Caws’ open heart. Many a fan lovingly shares that the band’s albums are soundtracks to chapters of their life. Known world-round for their breakout hit “Popular,” they were pegged to be the next one-hit wonder. Thankfully, their serious talent was ripe to bloom and singer-guitarist Caws, along with bassist Daniel Lorca and drummer Ira Elliot, committed to the musical journey as artists. Let Go (2003) and The Weight is a Gift (2005) document their treasures, including personal favorites, “Always Love,” (Always love/Hate will get you every time) and “Inside of Love.” Nada Surf’s music wraps you in a blissful haze of honest constellation hymns echoing, “Everything will be alright.”

Lucky is the band’s most mature album in tone, denser in its coverage of existence and adult realities. Its lyrical passages are detailed with a wiser, hard-won sweetness, tighter rock-out energy and lighter atmospheric pressures. There’s great work here in exploring subtleties of mood and dynamic range. “See These Bones,” featuring Death Cab for Cutie’s Ben Gibbard and Harvey Danger’s Sean Nelson, is their first cut and inspired by a visit Caws made a few years ago to the Crypt of the Capuchin Monks in Rome, who held onto the bones of their fellow brethren. About the experience Caws has said, “It’s a chilling place. Seeing all those old bones up close really drives home that this is it—and you better make the most of your life. Ultimately, it’s uplifting. I left there in a bizarrely good mood.”

“Whose Authority” reclaims the source of the way we feel; “Here Goes Something” feels as special as finding your soul mate by their tinker on a child’s xylophone; “Beautiful Beat” is an uplifting anthem-symphony for the daily grind; and “Are You Lightning?” and “I Like What You Say,” are filled with the hopeful beginnings of a long-awaited romance. Perhaps the best track, especially for the lovesick, closer “The Film Did Not Go ’Round,” is the simple, bittersweet truth that love is only in our hands for so long (Everyone’s got to leave their love sometime/If not now than at the end of your lifetime). Lesson by way of tears: Don’t wait ’til the finish line (their line), friends. As Zora Neale Hurston once said: “Love makes your soul crawl out of its hiding place.”

Nada Surf is touring extensively this spring and most likely in a city near you. Be lucky and do make a trip to hear them. I hear they’re particularly wonderful live, and they want to lift your heart.

Jehan@picturesandframesmagazine.com

Soda Stereo - Comfort y Música Para Volar

Originally released October 29, 1996, Soda Stereo’s grand MTV Unplugged album was not your typical unplugged record. First of all, only seven of the 11 tracks on the album are from the unplugged concert. The other four tracks are previously unreleased and unedited studio recordings leftover from the Sueño Stereo album (my personal favorite Soda Stereo album). Also, in the actual unplugged concert, or should we say anti-unplugged concert, Soda Stereo convinced MTV to allow them to perform using electric instruments, reworking their hits with slower arrangements and a variety of new takes on the songs.

Regardless of how plugged or unplugged their performances were, the music is fabulous, and hearing the classic Soda Stereo songs reworked is a testament to how amazing they are. This new re-release of the album is the entire MTV Unplugged performance minus the four studio tracks from the previous release. (The DVD companion of the concert is also being released along with this new audio version.) Previously unreleased, like many of MTV’s great unplugged performances, the Comfort y Música Para Volar DVD is a real treat that until now only the people that attended that night’s performance were able to enjoy.

Not long after the first release of the unplugged performance Soda Stereo decided to call it quits, making the significance of this release both sentimental and historic. If you do not own either CD, I recommend that you buy the original release and download the new songs not included on the CD from iTunes. Soda Stereo is Latin America’s greatest rock band and this album demonstrates why.

(On a personal note, Comfort y Música Para Volar was my introduction to the Argentine rock band that, along with Mexico’s Café Tacuba, opened my eyes and ears to Spanish Rock.)

Juanmarcos@picturesandframesmagazine.com

BOOKS:

Another Country by James Baldwin

My friend Christi Leftwich had given me the book years ago, and for years after it sat alphabetized between Jane Austen and Ambrose Bierce, neglected on my shelf. Looking back, I can't say now why it took me so long to pick up James Baldwin's Another Country, though I can say definitively that there's always an exact moment in life where to read a certain novel signals a shift in the course of consciousness. Now, it seems that while I haven't changed significantly, a book has made my vision a bit clearer. In all its marathon of the unforgiving, Another Country is an absolutely moving novel, ripe with soulful insights about race relations, sex and artistic originality.

Set in a grim, ever-developing 1960s New York, Another Country opens with “Book One: Easy Rider,” on a portrait of musician Rufus who, having driven his girl Leona to an asylum, walks the streets, carrying his desperation heavy on his shoulders. His friend Vivaldo his only sanctuary, Rufus struggles with his position as a black man in a prejudiced society. A very quiet, lyrical sadness and guilt floods this first section, Rufus falling into a spiral in which he is progressively less able to connect with friends and family. Scenes of bitter sexual encounter further confuse Rufus' isolation as well as the orientation of his sexual preference.

Writing at times in this section bumps along laughably, particularly with the sketch of Rufus and Leona's first grappling with sex. It's quite clear Baldwin's extremist vision of heterosexual sex is both too harsh and too romantic, his mixed metaphors to describe an experience of such passion and intimacy far off course from their reality. An impeccably crafted story arc for this section, however, moves with such ease that even in segments of stumble, the narrative and character development rescues all mistakes. Wandering weary, Rufus is left finally to succumb to the wash of prejudice that engulfs him, his decision to give in is one that causes a ripple effect throughout his circle of friends—from poverty-stricken writer Vivaldo, content couple Richard and Cass, beautiful and hardened sister Ida to sorrowful ex-lover Eric.

“Books Two: Any Day Now” and “Book Three: Toward Bethlehem,” expand the dialogue of this first section, exploring in minutest detail the poverty of interracial relationships, the poverty of gay relationships, the poverty of relationships where understanding and passion no longer play a role. It's in another country only that these relationships work, the characters say, but not here, trapped in the bitterness of the New York vistas. Questions about how people separated by race, class and sexuality can possibly understand each other are addressed on every page.  Several sections of dialogue are utterly disturbing and overly poetic, yet their message distilled, there's an undeniable truth spoken out by characters who often act in morally detestable ways.

A novel that ends, oddly, with a glimmer of hope, Another Country is a ride in heavy-heartedness, at times heavy-handedness, that forces a re-evaluation of that thin line separating perception from reality. How much do we know of each other, the book asks? How much do we know even of ourselves?

Noralil@picturesandframesmagazine.com

FICTION:

The Music of Life

Life is so complex

Like the rhythms and melodies of jazz

It’s ambiguous

Always open to interpretation

Constantly moving and changing like the syllables of improvisational scats

Each hour marks a line

Which all compile to create each day’s song

Sometimes fast

Sometimes slow

Sometimes upbeat and jubilant

Sometimes moody and melancholy

The lyrics tell your story

The situations, tasks and events of the day are the notes

You embody an instrument that plays accordingly

Some days you may be at the top of the charts

Other days you may not even chart at all

Nothing ever really stays the same

That’s the joy of opening your eyes to a new day

One never knows what lies ahead

So when you get right down to it

Life is a series of albums that detail

The colorful phases of your growth, development and experiences

All of the hits and misses

All of the highs and lows